Why I won't be going back to the 70s | Julie Bindel

'In my mum's kitchen that stuff was only ever there on display to impress the neighbours, like the rotisserie in Mike Leigh's play Abigail's Party.' Photograph: Ronald Grant Archive

Stuck at the back of my cupboards are the kitchen items my mum packed me off with when I left home in 1978. There is the fondue set (a freebie from the catalogue when she bought her hostess trolley), a coffee percolator and an electric carving knife. In those days I had no idea what a fondue was and did not mix with the sort of people that would sit around a dinner table (which I didn't have in my squat) and dip things into cheese sauce. I only ever drank Nescafe, and bought the sort of meat in tins that did not need carving. In my mum's kitchen that stuff was only ever there on display to impress the neighbours, like the rotisserie in Mike Leigh's play Abigail's Party.

These days I am an enthusiastic cook and love my contemporary kitchen equipment. I spend my dosh on Japanese knives, Le Creuset dishes and such like. Clearing out the tat in my cupboards the other day I realised I had a hard decision to make. Do I send the stuff to the charity shop in the hope that someone with a love of retro will give it a home? Or could I put the items to use?

A 2008 survey by the review website Reevoo found that the top 20 items in a 70s kitchen included a toasted sandwich maker, pressure cooker, hand-held whisk, SodaStream, chip pan and spice rack. I have all of these in my kitchen, plus a breadmaker, ice-cream maker and egg slicer, but have not used any of them for as long as I can remember.

The department store John Lewis reported earlier this year some spectacular sales increases for 70s kitchen equipment, including hostess trollies, steamers and teasmades. Even yoghurt makers are back in fashion. But in many ways the 70s was a crap decade. Then, women used to cook meals from scratch far more often than today, and all that equipment needed washing. Those are the reasons that I am in two minds about the revival of the 1970s kitchen.

Prices for all of the above are far higher than in the 70s, of course, and they are also jazzed up to contemporary standards in order to look good in a chrome and hessian-white kitchen as opposed to the horrendous decor of the time. But just a minute: according to one kitchen designer 70s-style kitchens are making a comeback. Remember that fitted-kitchen Formica look? Who would want to return to such horrors? Flares and Country Manor wine had one chance with me, as did everything else in the 70s – except for my hairstyle.

You just have to look on eBay to see how popular vintage kitchenware is. And it is not just the equipment that is enjoying a comeback, according to Waitrose. Its sales of old classics, such as Arctic rolls, chicken kievs, quiche and Angel Delight, have significantly increased lately.

The reason I don't want the 70s in my kitchen is probably because I don't want that decade in my life again. Three-day weeks, the Thatcher government, endemic sexism, crap telly, plus Jimmy Savile and Noddy Holder on Top of the Pops. Despite this I want to recreate the old classics without the millions of E-numbers and artificial flavours. But no one really wants an arm taken off with a vintage electric knife in the same way that we do not hanker for TV that shuts down at 11pm, or a choice between Country Manor or Bull's Blood to drink with a well-done steak and a Black Forest gateau. So for me it is out with the old, and onwards to the posh department store to buy the latest versions. Nostalgia is one thing, but a trip to A&E in the middle of a dinner party, quite another.

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